A little opinion piece on International Women’s Day…
I grew up with a mother who, to this day, shies away from calling herself a “feminist”. The term carried “negative connotations” in her day. My maternal grandmother exhibited clear favoritism, elevating the males in the family while subjecting females to the role of supporting character at best. My mom and I both grew up as understudies of older brothers. By middle school, I was taught to be “one of the guys”. Feminine interests and the color pink were signs of weakness, silly whimsical notions to be squashed for the fear of appearing too girly and annoying or unintelligent. My high school bedroom was blue and green, with Marvel superhero posters on the walls. Even in my dancing career, I took a few years off of ballet, favoring hip hop and tap dancing because ballet was for girly girls. I was proud of my “guys-girl” status and thought it made me somehow superior to other women.
It took me almost a decade into my adult life, and a few strong and extremely loyal female friends to help me understand female friendship and the power of femininity. My career has existed in male-dominated realms of finance and technology which perpetuated the male-favoring notions of my youth. I crossed paths with other similar-minded women who approached our colleague relationship with a competitiveness I now believe to be partially seated in similar upbringings. At 22, I felt the competition was appropriate. I was prepared for it by other women who had experienced this in their careers. At 29, it breaks my heart. I’m grateful to say I’ve proudly become a “girl’s girl” in the last 8 years of my career and life. I understand what a gift it is to be a woman, think like a woman, care about the world and others from a female perspective. If I am blessed with a daughter, I will raise her to understand how valuable her femininity is and to embrace it while encouraging other women to embrace theirs.
Today, I sit in a team of VPs at a corporate bank. I’m the only female VP in my corner and I can’t help but look at my colleagues and think, “I do exactly what you do, I do it well, I do it while feeling under the weather one quarter of the time, while experiencing unexpected emotions and unanticipated exhaustion. I do it on at least 25% fewer calories and at least 45 minutes less sleep because I know you didn’t have to put on makeup or curl your hair. I do it in less comfortable and more effortful outfits. And on top of that, I created a human being in my body.” So yeah, women are awesome and International Women’s Day is well deserved.
Enjoy it, ladies!